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Why Do People Like Being Tied Up?

How… why…?

That’s the question, isn’t it? Why do people like getting tied up? What do they get out of it?

Why on earth would you find that sexy?

I’m not the best qualified to answer that question – I mostly tie other people.  I’m much better at answering why it’s fun to tie people up.

What I can say, based on the very few times that I’ve been tied, is that it’s peculiarly relaxing.
Suddenly, you don’t have to make any decisions. None at all. It’s all in the other person’s hands. You’re at their mercy. They could do anything to you…
(so you better hope that you’ve negotiated and screened this person first and have reason to trust them)

And it’s a very interesting, and in some ways very HOT feeling, wondering just what erotic things they’re about to do to you. Anticipation. Expectation. Helplessness. Excitement… you’re incredibly there, right in the moment, caught up in erotic intensity.

That’s not much to say, is it? But that’s just my experience.

I decided to go the extra mile for people who want more information, and did some research. I wanted to know what my partners got out of it; what they enjoyed, why they enjoyed it. Hopefully this will help me when I’m having a hot scene with them.
What I asked:

“Why do you enjoy being tied up? What do you get out of it?”

The Answers:

“I like rope because the world falls away from me… it’s just me, the rigger, and the rope.”

For some, this restraint is strangely relaxing

“Being tied up gives me freedom from the world.”

“I like having something to struggle against… once I’m tied up I can fight against the rope, but I can’t get far. It’s very primal.”

“I love the feeling of the rope… the way it feels against my skin, the texture, the way it binds me tight in different ways, the way it smells.”

“I get caught up in the fantasy of being helpless… it’s so hot knowing that someone wants me so badly that they’ve tied me up so that I can’t escape, that they HAVE to have me… and I can’t do anything about it.”

“I love trying to escape – I love working out ways to slip out of the rope and untie it. It’s like a game between me and my top.”

“Being tied up makes me feel more connected to him…”


Warm and fuzzy.

“Everything gets warm and quiet when I’m tied… it makes me feel really warm and fuzzy”.


As you can see, there are a lot of different enjoyments that come into it, and they differ from person to person.

However, in one case, I got something a lot more comprehensive and detailed.

Here’s the written feedback I got from one of my rope partners.

I’m really interested in other people’s experiences with rope and what they enjoy about being tied up. So if you feel you can contribute and further mine and the reader’s knowledge about the experience of being tied, then please comment below.

3 thoughts on “Why Do People Like Being Tied Up?

  1. For some reason it just dawned on me that tying a woman up is a kind of foreplay. It takes time. It takes trust. It involves touching. It’s personal. It’s intimate. It actually makes perfect sense that women love it.

    1. HahaI have just realized that that probably would have summed up the whole post a lot faster…

    2. If you think only women love being tied up and only men like to tie, you’re limiting the kind of connections you’ll be able to make with rope. Even if you are only interested in partnerships that follow that pattern, you’re still alienating potential friends, allies, teachers, students in the rope community by assuming a particular role based on perceived gender and by not acknowledging gender-variant people.

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