How Individual Relationships Completely Change Rope Bondage

You’d think that tying one person would be much like tying another…

But you’d be completely incorrect about that.  

Even physical differences and limitations aside, there is a tremendous variance in the experience of tying different people.

And this is one of the things that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately;  how the experience of tying differs a tremendous amount depending on who I tie. I have used the exact same ties, and the exact same rope, to tie a number of different people within the last few months, and with each person, the experience has been totally different.

A lot of that seems to come down to how the person reacts in rope; some fall into a “relaxed, trusting state” and others tense up and get this intense erotic energy about them. Yet with others, the mood seems to be more focused on intimacy, closeness, and power exchange, minus any sexual element whatsoever.

Same ties; same person tying them (me) and completely different feel and moods to each individual session.

I’ve been thinking about it, and it seems to me that the dynamic that I have with that person seems to influence both of us during the tying session.

With one person, I know that they’re going to be a bit provoking, and I anticipate that, and it’s part of my mood right at the start. I know they’re going to challenge me; that they enjoy challenging me; that they also enjoy being fought into submission, “put in their place”. They enjoy knowing that I’m strong enough and determined enough to do it.

So right from the beginning, I know that there’s going to be a conflict, and that alters my own mood and energy immediately. I know that I’m going to have to put that person in their place – and I’ve decided that I’m going to fucking enjoy doing it.

So the scene starts out with a definite feel that a vibrant power struggle is about to happen.

With another person, I know that she wouldn’t dream of resisting me; but that she’ll get very very turned on just as soon as I start tying her and putting that rope across her skin. I know if I put rope in certain places, it’s going to add to or emphasize the way she reacts. That whole scene will very much have the feeling of me leading, playing her body like an instrument; no impression of power struggle, just one person being firmly in control, and the other person enjoying it.

Totally different feeling, totally different kind of enjoyment. I enjoy it just as much, but very differently.

What this means for me is that with each person, the whole experience is going to be different. Rope is going to be involved, some of the same patterns or ties are going to be involved, but it’s not going to feel at all the same. I might be rough with the second person, despite the non-resistance; but that roughness will have a totally different purpose than with the first person. I’m not putting the second person in her place; Instead, I’m triggering a deeper level of reaction, bringing out more intensity.

The purpose, the meaning of the scene, becomes totally different depending on the person I’m tying.

And with a third person, I might do a whole range of different things, because she’s like me; she enjoys a range of different things as well. Some days she enjoys being bound, tied, lulled into a state close to sleep; other days she enjoys putting up a fight, being roughly handled, captured, and put in her place before “awful” things happen to her. Or she might enjoy being completely restricted by the rope, but seduced and played with and having sex happen while she’s bound.

Does that mean it feels the same as it does the other two people?

Hell no! It’s a totally different relationship; there’s nothing about her that reminds me of those two people. It’s a different experience, with a very different charge.

When I tie a person up, I might be using the same rope, the same movements, even many of the same positions and ties; but the experience of the person in the rope and my experience as well is going to be completely different, because of those differences in personality, in reactions, and in dynamic. We all bring out different things in each other, and that’s what makes it special and individual to us.

Credit for photo goes to https://www.flickr.com/photos/amagill/